


The other side of the stars

by Infinity_on_high



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Brothers, Crying, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Thor (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Love, M/M, Magic, Memories, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 11:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15580602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinity_on_high/pseuds/Infinity_on_high
Summary: Set post Thor ragnarok, everyone is on the ship that is headed for earth. Loki is reluctant to go back and decides to tell his brother of his concerns but his worry turns into something else when he sees how Thor is coping. Loki has finally put his anger about his past to bed but it becomes evident that he isn't the only one who had suffered over the last few years. Loki finds Thor badly injured and grieving over the loss of their home and the two have a much needed conversation.





	The other side of the stars

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! So here's another shot, this will be a roller coaster of emotions from start to finish and I actually cried whilst writing this. The piece of music that came to mind when I wrote this is called "Rise" by John Dreamer, the song is gorgeous and I strongly recommend it. Here we look at how Thor has been coping over the last few years since Loki's past was revealed and it's Loki's turn to help Thor this time. Enjoy!! :)

_Earth? Of all the places Thor could've chosen in the universe, he had to choose Earth?_ Loki could understand why Thor wanted to go back, but what about everyone else? _What about him?_ Did he not remember what happened last time they were there at the same time? Of course Loki had come back to Thor by choice but if they went to Earth, then it would only be a matter of time before something would try and split them up again. Most likely, Thor's fellow Avengers. Loki had no doubt that they remembered him and not in a very good way. The Hulk and him had formed some kind of truce whilst they were on the ship but that didn't mean they were friends. There were alot of people on earth who held a grudge against Loki and with everything that had happened over the last few days, Loki couldn't be bothered with them.

When shouts from the Asgardian refugees began to ring out through the Statesman, Loki surpressed the urge to roll his eyes. That was the third argument in the last few hours. Well someone had to stop it before it turned into an all out brawl. Loki looked around for anyone who could stop the upcoming fight. His eyes landed on Brunhilde but he could tell by the way she was walking, she was hammered. Where was Heimdall? Loki couldn't see the former gatekeeper anywhere. Loki felt a ray of hope when he saw Korg walking over to the yelling Asgardians. That hope however was quickly shattered when the poor Kronan was pulled into the fight as well. Suddenly Loki felt like the obvious had just slapped him in the face, Where the hell was Thor? Loki had seen Thor walk out of the room a short while ago and assuming that he would be back, Loki chose not to follow him. But Thor was still missing. _Abandoning your duties as king already brother? I don't think so._

Loki bolted from the room and wandered through the ship, he knew exactly where his brother would be. When he reached the back end of the ship and halted at his and Thor's quarters, Loki banged on the door. He waited for a few seconds, no answer, he called Thor's name, still no answer.

Loki banged on the door for the second time,  
"Thor? Come on, people are fighting again over their rooms, Brunhilde is drunk, I can't find Heimdall anywhere and Hulk is out of the question, so we need you out here before they wake up the entire ship." Loki was once again met with complete silence. He sighed in frustration, How long had Thor been in there? Loki just assumed that he was tired, though who could blame him, and decided to turn in. But he knew that Thor wasn't asleep so why was he ignoring him, and why did he lock the door, this was his room as well. 

Loki knocked two more times but still received no response, was Thor actually in there? Suddenly Loki heard a shaky breath from within the room and took a step back mildly alarmed. Thor was definatley in there. But something was wrong, he heard another trembling breath after the other, was Thor crying? Loki's brow furrowed, Thor sounded like he was in pain, he'd already been to see a healer before and they patched his eye up, so what was the problem? Loki knocked again,  
"Brother, even if you don't open this door then you know that won't stop me from getting in there." Loki said that to warn him but all he got in return was another quiet groan. 

Thirty seconds passed, well you can't say he didn't warn him, Loki called on his Seidr and the door burst open. Loki entered the room frantically looking around for his brother but he froze and held back a gasp at the sight of him. Thor was curled up in the corner of the room, one hand was over the eyepatch and the other arm wrapped around his middle. His breathing was ragged and obviously strained, he looked beyond exhausted. Idiot!  
"Oh you absolute moron!!" Loki shouted as he bolted towards Thor, who didn't even seem to notice Loki's sudden outburst, had he not even heard Loki knocking over and over again? 

Kneeling down in front of his brother, Loki gently moved the hand that was covering his eyepatch and he could see the skin around it was starting to turn red, he gently ran his thumb over the irritated skin before he asked,  
"Brother, what's wrong? Are you injured?" Loki asked trying to hide his panic. When Thor didn't say anything and cast his eyes, eye rather, to the ground, Loki huffed and stood again and held a hand out to his brother. Thor just stared at it for a few seconds before accepting it and letting Loki haul him to his feet. Though he really wished he hadn't, white hot pain shot up his sides and back and he almost fell straight back down. Thor groaned loudly and his hands went flying around his middle. Loki quickly placed his arms around Thor to support him as he guided him to the bed a few steps away. When Thor was sat down, he continued to breathe in and out trying in vain to fill his lungs, every breath hurt like hell. 

Loki leaned down and tilted Thor's head up so their eyes met,  
"Brother, where hurts!? What's wrong!?" Loki shouted, it was at that moment that Loki saw bruises. Alot of them. Covering Thor's neck like he'd been choked, how had Loki not seen that before when they got away from Asgard? Thor's breathing turned into short and desperate panting and Loki stood again, grasping the straps of Thor's armour,  
"Take it off." He said trying again not to show his worry.  
Thor did look at him then but didn't say anything, he tilted his head to the side in question. Loki had already started to remove it for him before repeating,  
"Your armour, it needs to come off, if you cant breathe then I need to get as close to the skin as possible so that it's not so restricted, plus I need to see how much damage you're really hiding from me."

Loki continued to slowly remove Thor's armour but when he began pulling, Thor yelped and grabbed Loki's hand to stop him. This only confirmed Loki's theory, the loss of his eye wasn't his only injury. Loki let go of the armour before tilting his head up again, gentler this time after seeing the damage on his neck,  
"Brother, where are you injured?" Loki asked softly, hoping that this time he would get an answer. Thor took a raspy uneven breath in before pointing to his hip just below his ribs and then to his back. Loki hadn't seen the battle between Thor and their crazy sister but the injuries couldn't have come from anywhere else. He seriously doubted that Hela's army laid a single hand on Thor as he made his way through them on the bridge with ease, defeating them one by one with his lightning. No this must've happened before Loki arrived. 

Loki leaned in to get a closer look at what he was dealing with and he could see where crimson had soaked through the armour just below Thor's ribs. He then moved to take a look at his back, there was an even bigger red stain there. The trickster couldn't stop a frustrated growl escaping his throat,  
"Thor, you went to see a healer before about your eye, why didn't you get this sorted out as well?" Thor just shrugged his shoulders,  
"I'm not the only one on this ship brother." He stated simply, his voice was so cracked and broken. Rather than shouting at Thor for his stupid selflessness, Loki stood and went to the other side of the room. He poured something from one of the bottles into a glass before turning back to Thor. Loki wasn't sure what drink was actually in that bottle but he guessed it must've been strong because Thor cringed as he sipped it. In any other circumstance, Loki might've laughed at him, but right now Thor needed to be checked over. 

Thor understood what Loki wanted him to do when he reached for his armour again. It's best to get it over with. Thor began to pull the leather from his body, when he got to the wound near his ribs the leather pulled at the open gash causing him to yelp and grit his teeth. This was going to be harder than he thought. Thor continued to pull until the leather peeled away from the cut, it burned, God it burned, Thor could feel fresh blood start to pour from the gash and he placed his hand over it. One down, now for the hard part, Thor couldn't help but wince when he thought about the wound on his back where Hela had stabbed him and knew that this was going to be much worse. He was right, the second he pulled at his armour, agonising pain shot through his back and Thor couldn't help crying out. Loki stepped in to help then,  
"Thor, if it hurts too much then let me do it." He offered knowing that Thor would say no anyway. Sure enough, Thor shook his head.

Sighing at his brother's stubbornness Loki moved so that he was behind Thor and replaced Thor's hands with his own. He mentally prepared himself for what he was about to do. Thor didn't put up much of a fight and eventually relented letting Loki do it for him. He took a deep breath to brace himself,  
"Okay, I'll make it as quick as possible. Ready?" Thor gave a shaky nod of his head and a split second later, Loki tore the leather from Thor's body The sound of tearing skin did not go unheard. Thor cried out again, loudly and Loki rubbed his back and shoulders tenderly to try and calm his tensed muscles,  
"Shh, I'm sorry brother, I'm sorry, it's done now okay, it's off." Loki tried to assure him and held onto his shoulder to steady his brother. Thor breathed deeply in and out and relaxed into Loki's touch,  
"Bloody hell that hurt." Thor gasped. Loki saw the blood quickly running down his brother's back after the scab had torn off with the armour. Not having anything else to use, Loki cleaned the blood away with the bed sheets and then pressed them against the deep wound, it looked painful. This was no doubt a stab wound. Thor's torso was covered in bruises and cuts like the ones on his neck. He could heal this, he had to try, whatever he couldn't, the healers could, but he had to do enough so that Thor could at least breathe on his own. 

Loki decided to assess the injuries on his front first and kneeled down in front of his brother. Loki gently moved Thor's hand from the gash and blood spilled out from underneath. Thor sat up so that his back was straight and Loki could get a better look at the damage. Loki traced the skin around the deep gash under Thor's ribs, very gently he pressed down on the wound to test how sensitive it was, Thor yelped and grabbed Loki's hand,  
"Alright, again I'll be as quick as possible, but I need you to be still. Can you do that for me?" Loki said. Thor gave another shaky nod and held on tight to Loki's hand. Loki looked back to the wound and concentrated his Seidr again, Thor hissed through his teeth as the wound began to heal. It didn't take long and soon the deep gash was nothing but a faint scar, one more to add on to the others.

Loki let his hands run all over Thor's torso, everytime he brushed past a bruise or cut, it would fade away in an instant. Loki made sure to be extra careful with his neck and when that was done he turned Thor around so that he was behind him. His back was gushing red from the deep wound, this was going to hurt, alot, the quicker he did this, the sooner his brother could rest. Not giving Thor anytime to prepare himself, Loki spread his magic all over Thor's back. Thor cried out again, loudly, and Loki could tell that Thor was trying not to scream as the severed skin and tissue started weaving back together. It took alot longer than Loki hoped it would but eventually, it was done. Loki couldn't heal the wound completely but he'd stopped the blood at least so he helped Thor lie down on his side.

Thor's breathing came in heavy pants and his body was shaking. It had worked, Thor was breathing much more evenly now. Loki continued to comfort Thor by running his hands along his back and shoulders in a comforting manner, but when he saw the eyepatch again, Loki made the decision to remove it, if it was going to heal then the skin underneath needed to breathe. Thor didn't even protest when Loki reached forward to take the eyepatch off. But when Loki removed it, he felt wetness running down his brother's cheek and he leaned back to look at Thor's face. Thor was crying. Loki quickly looked away, unsure of what to do. He was contemplating whether or not to stand up and leave Thor to it. But Loki hadn't seen him like this since they were children, it took a lot to break Thor down.

Loki tenderly wiped the tears away when he asked,  
"Thor, what's wrong? Are you still hurting?" There was a small silence before Thor shook his head and wiped the tears, though more came soon after,  
"No, no its not that, it's just...it really happened didn't it, Asgard is gone, because of me the people no longer have a home to call their own. I should've known it would happen, I mean everytime I had a dream about ragnarok happening, I was always told the same thing, I was Asgard's doom. And it's true, it's because of me that this happened. The Asgardians are traumatised and lost because they no longer have a home. Many have lost their families. And I can't do anything to fix it. God, what have I done.." Thor said it in a far away voice, like he wasn't even conscious of what he was saying.

Loki just stared at him in horror at Thor's empty expression. _What?_ What was Thor talking about? Why the hell would this be his fault?  
"You did what you had to do. There was nothing else that could be done. You did your best." Thor barked out a laugh that held absolutely no humour. He gave Loki the most defeated look that he'd ever seen.  
"And look how it turned out. Just like every other time I've tried to fix a problem, or tried to protect someone I love, it only makes everything worse. I try my best to be better than the person I was all those years ago and no matter what I do, it all goes to hell." Loki could see Thor breaking with every word he spoke. He needed to snap Thor out of it. Loki gripped Thor's shoulders trying to will him to listen, momentarily forgetting his injuries but not letting go for a second,  
"Don't talk like that. None of this is your fault, Ragnarok was inevitable, nothing could've stopped it. Whether Hela attacked Asgard or not, it would've happened eventually. Ragnarok was the only way to save Asgard from complete annihilation." 

Loki said that with the hopes of calming Thor down. Thor wrenched out of Loki's embrace, throwing himself to the floor. Luckily he didn't land on any of his injuries. He turned away and faced the window. Loki was stunned, he was never this lost for words. As Thor looked away, Loki could still see his brother's shpulders shaking. Tears continued to run down his face from his remaining blue eye and Loki wanted nothing more than to make it stop. How long had Thor been holding this in?

Thor made a futile attempt to calm himself. He felt a light touch on his cheek and another on his chin lifting his head up. His eyes met Loki's and saw that he was fighting his own tears they kept their eyes locked on the others for a second before Loki closed the distance between them and embraced him. Loki's hands moved from his cheek and slid around the back of Thor's neck. The shock of what Loki was doing quickly wore off and Thor placed his arms around Loki's waist. When Thor felt wetness on his shoulder that didn't come from him, he knew that Loki was crying too.

When the two parted, Loki was hiding his face from Thor, but Thor kept him close. He lifted Loki's head up and ran his thumb across his cheeks to wipe away his tears even though his own hadn't stopped. The two took shuddering breaths as an effect of their crying and Loki pressed their foreheads together before whispering,  
"It's not your fault." The warmth that flooded through Thor from Loki's words was almost overwhelming and he couldn't help the smile that came with it and the wave of affection he felt for Loki. He pressed his lips to Loki's forehead. When Loki leaned back however, there was a deep frown on his face,  
"How long have you felt like this Thor?" Loki asked. Thor's brow furrowed,  
"Like what?" He asked in return. Loki pulled on his arms and sat them both down on the bed before responding,  
"Before Ragnarok, when you said that the dreams blamed you for Asgard's destruction, how long have you felt this guilty?" It only took one look from Thor to get his answer. Thor had suffered with this feeling for a long time. Thor wanted to explain, he really did but he didn't really know how to word it. Loki gave Thor a patient look to show him it was okay to take his time. Thor reached for his brother's hand and Loki was quick to accept it,  
"I want to show you something" 

Now it was Loki's turn to look confused. He went along with it,  
"Show me what?" He asked genuinely curious. Thor seemed like he was trying to concentrate on something, he looked back at Loki,  
"Just stay still. And whatever you do, don't open your eyes." Loki tilted his head to the side, not sure where this was going but after a moment, he closed his eyes and relaxed his muscles. As Loki did what Thor asked him to, Thor closed his eye as well, he was concentrating on something in his mind, he focused on the images in his head and the memories that flooded him. When the images were clear, Thor opened his eye again, a light blue energy emerged from Thor's remaining eye, it was glowing like when he was using his lightning, It looked like Loki's Seidr, only it was blue. Thor extended the magic and concentrated on Loki. The energy flowed from Thor's eye and travelled over to where Loki was sitting. When it reached him, Loki was unknowingly absorbing the magic into his head. When the memories started flooding his mind Loki gasped but didn't open his eyes, these weren't his memories, they were Thor's.  
........................................................................................

_"I will not fight you brother!!"_

_"..what have I done?.."_

_"..I mourned you, I cried for you."_

_"Hey so listen, we, uh, we should talk.."  
"..I disagree.."_

_"Always so perceptive..about everyone but yourself.."_

_"Loki for all of his grave imbalance understood rule as I know I never will.."_

_"...would you say something.."_

_"The brutality, the sacrifice, it changes you.."_

_"..I'd rather be a good man than a great king.."_

_"Say something!"_  
_"..What would you like me to say?_  
_You faked your own death,_  
_You stole the throne,_  
_Stripped Odin of his power,_  
_Stranded him on Earth to die,_  
_Releasing the Goddess of Death.  
_Have I said enough or would you like me to go back further than the past two days?"__

____

_"...I'm sorry..I'm sorry I'm sorry."  
"..Stay with me okay."_

_"You should know that when we fought eachother in the past, I did so with a glimmer of hope that my brother was still in there somewhere.."_

_"I'm here."_

_"..That hope no longer exists to protect you.."_

_"You think you know pain?!"_

_"This day, the next, a hundred years it's nothing..."_

_"Never one for sentiment were you?"  
"..Easier to let it burn."_

_"..It's a heartbeat. You'll never be ready."_

_"..Long for something as sweet as pain.."_

_"Your brother! Whatever the story is, adopted or complicated, I'm sure there's a big history.."_

_"When I'm king.."_

_"..I wish I could trust you..."_

_"...I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all.."_

_"Your saviour is here!!"_

_"...trust my rage.."_

_"Loki I thought the world of you..."_

_"..never doubt that I love you."_  
............................................................................................

Loki's eyes shot open and he breathed heavily in and out, completely overwhelmed with the memories in his head all at once. Tears were streaming down his face from what he'd just seen, those memories, they were him and Thor. Loki was a mixture of emotions at that moment, some of those memories were happy, and Loki only felt sad and above all guilty at the ones that weren't. When he composed himself he turned his gaze to his brother, his glowing blue eye faded back to normal and he stared at Loki as if he was waiting for a reaction. He almost seemed cautious. Loki just looked at him in bewilderment and awe, _How the hell.._  
"How did you do that?" Loki asked in a hushed voice. Thor smiled slightly and shrugged,  
"I've been practicing that for a while, you're not the only one with magic brother." Thor still seemed cautious about the fact that he'd just practically invaded his brother's mind. But Loki didn't seem to care about that, he was just shocked at what Thor had shown him.  
Loki seemed like he was going to say something else but kept stopping himself again and again until he finally blurted out,  
"Show me again." Thor did. 

When the magic faded form Thor's eye for the second time, Thor took Loki's hand and held it tightly. Neither said a word, neither needed to. Thor cast his gaze out the window where the entire galaxy painted the skies, decorated with millions of millions of diamond like stars. Thor stood up from the bed not letting go of Loki's hand and Loki seemed more than happy to follow where his brother was going. Thor stopped in front of the large window surrounded by Space and glued his eyes to the scene in front of him and Loki soon followed his gaze after spending some time looking at their conjoined hands. Space was truly breath taking, why they would ever leave this place to relocate on Earth Loki would never know. But as he turned his head to look back at Thor's hand holding his, the future ahead of them looked brighter than the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> The end! Hope you liked this one it's probably my favourite so far, I appreciate the comments and kudos more than you know . Requests are more than welcome , c ya soon :)


End file.
